Hey,
Well this update should no strike that WILL be shorter than the last one. I must say I felt so much better just getting all that off my mind and putting some bits 'to rest'. Theres even everyday things there that I just needed to tell someone or get out of my system so i could forget about them and carry on. I found that before I updated last time I kept saying to myself "Ooo make sure you update" and I was sort of making it become like a chore for myself.I have decided to make this an enjoyment and something that I can escape to in order to relax and do some good, rather than just add to the stress I already carry around with me.
I did feel alot better after having that long, ranting update so I guess this whole thing is beginging to pay off a bit.
My back is feeling a bit better, it was very sore yesterday for some reason, but it was better again this morning. Went into work at 11.30 had a party of 32 and a 4 which did not do my back any good at all, so I feel like I'm back to the beginining with it again now. Might be able to have another soak later so that might help. I'm running low on painkillers as well which isn't good! Will have to just start taking normal Ibruprofen and hope for the best!!
So I still havent done much thinking about things really, I suppose I have had the time but I'm just feeling vulnerable and weak enough physcially so I dont really need to have my mind and my thoughts all screwed up aswell. I think I'm going to go to school tommorrow, will have to carry my books because my rucksack is to heavy. Its so frustrating not being able to do things like that. It may sound stupid but another thing that annoys me so much is not being able to wear a bra, something so simple and something I take for granted everyday, but I cant do now because it pulls and puts a strain on my back.
I am already starting to get pent up anger and frustration which I cant release, because normally I do it physically, and even though I push myself physically until I am in pain when I am working out, its a different type and level of pain compared to what I am getting from my back. Its so annoying everything seems to be evolving around my back at the moment.
I have got quite a bit of school work that I should probably be doing, but I cant sit comofortably long enough to work on it, plus theres trying to concentrate which is like a task from hell! My brother needs to come on here in a minute so maybe I will take some more painkillers and pop up stairs and try and do some work, or at least get my school stuff together for tommorrow.
I have been extremely sad the last couple of days and have done nothing but surf and browse through Bebo, thats how bored I have truly become. Although saying that I did do some work yesturday to help with the Sex Education Advertising so I dont feel like a complete bum.
Right, my back is aching (suprise suprise) so I'm going to let my brother come on here and go and do some work if I can.
Bye for now xxxx
