Hey,
Well know I havent updated in a little while, but plan on doing so in the next few days, before I go on holiday anyway. But for now this is a post I put on a forum, for some reason I just wanted to put it here.

Hey,
Well I feel stupid and embarrassed. Only a short while ago I was on here saying how positive and good I was doing.

Now I'm just back to the begining. The very begining. I keep trying to convince myself I haven't got an eating problem, but the fact that I am back to eating hardly anything, and if I can nothing tells me that there is still something wrong.

God I feel so argh, stupid and frustrated, where did all that positivity go? I have been so incredibly busy the last week or so I haven't had chance to stop and think about how my head and my thoughts feel about this, so it seems like somehow, I have gone back to the very begining with the amounts I am eating, but my head is not in the place it was before.

Last time round I was so in depth with the thoughts, I couldn't stop thinking about it, running through it and trying to work it out, I haven't done that this time and its what makes it so confusing. I have no idea what it is that has made me go back to where I am.

I'm not eating, I don't know why, god it annoys me so much. I know what I have got to do, I know I can do it because I've done it before, so why the hell cant I just get on and do it?

I know that its going to take alot to get back where I was before, and I also know that chances are nothing anyone will say will help, so I don't really know what I am trying to acheive by posting this, I guess I just need to get it out.

Sorry. xxx