I'm only human.

Dear Dr T,
I am writing to you to express my opinions and to thank you for the excellent forms of support the school has given me.

Throughout my five years at W School I have always noticed the high level of support that is within the school, through teachers and other staff. During my last two years at W School I struggled with a number of things, of which without the help I received from the school I cannot imagine getting through, more so within the last year than any other.

The pastoral support system is fantastic and has been a huge help to me. Ms B has been incredibly kind and has helped me overcome many things, and she still continues to do so even though I am on summer break, she says that she is always there and she means it. She is very approachable and always deals with things in a way that is understandable and not at all patronising. She is honest and someone who I have been able to trust which has been really important for me.

I have spent time talking to the school counsellor and have also found she has been a superb help to me, her professionalism supported me through some difficult areas and the level of confidentiality that she promised was always held. She allowed flexibility in areas such as appointments, which during the last few weeks of school was extremely beneficial due to revision. Like Ms B she was available during study leave and she took the time to work out appointments, of which I am very grateful for.

Another fantastic help was Mr W, who during exams was brilliant. He guided me through revision which I was struggling with, and never gave up on me even though at times I felt like doing so myself. Again he was always available to talk to, and always had time in his day to either simply have a chat or sort something out. His knowledge about teaching and learning is so helpful and I believe that without his help I would have approached my GCSE’s in a negative mindset and would have struggled a large amount with revision and exams.

I just wanted to write to you to let you know that this help and support that the school has given me has not in anyway gone unappreciated and I cannot express how thankful I am for everything that has been done in order to help me. The high level and support of the school is the main reason I am returning to the sixth form in September because I find it hard to believe it is possible to find people like those mentioned above at any other school or college.

So, Thank-You for having such an incredible group of people who are able to create such an amazing support system of which I am truly grateful for.

Hey,
Well I'm back from my holiday!! I got back on friday and I haven't stopped since I've been flapping around doing one thing or another.The annoying thing is its lots of little things as well, so I end up feeling like I haven’t actually done that much, but still feel absolutely knackered for it!

I dont know where to start, I feel like there is quite a bit to say!

Well first of all, today I got a phonecall from the doctor, it was the counsellor there, she told me that she is ready to take appointments, so my first one is next tuesday afternoon. I’m nervous but I guess I’m also kind of interested, I want to know what’s going to happen, its going to be a new approach to things and I guess I’m ‘eager’ (Maybe that’s a bit exaggerated but I can’t think of any other word) to try something new in the hope that it will help a bit. It’s at 2.30 and I’m going to go in on my bike, mum is going to be working then I think which is a bummer but I will just have to try really hard to avoid her, she’s going to be the other end of town so I can park my bike out the back of bex’s shop and walk over the doctors the back way and hope for the best, god knows what I will do if she finds out!!

I need to get a job, I gave up my other one and now I need a new one!I dropped my CV into the photography shop today so I’m just waiting now to see whether I will get an interview or anything. If I don’t hear from them in the next week or so I am going to apply for the costcutter one, not brilliant but it’s a job which means money. I asked at the local cinema whether they will be needing anyone, but they said not until September so I will go back then. It will be ideal if I get the photography shop job, because its 8.30-5 hours so I can still earn money by babysitting in the evenings. Although if I do get the job it will only be weekdays up until September because I cant do those hours if I am at school. They are looking for someone permanent for Saturdays so maybe I could do those hours. Oh well its just a case of the waiting game now I suppose!

Like I said, I’ve been really busy for some weird reason. Just sorting little things out and catching up on stuff, running errands. I went chiropractor on Monday then had to go right out of town to get my brother his birthday present because I just didn’t get the chance between getting back from the holiday and his birthday, he didn’t mind it being late though as long as he got it!!I wanted to see my counsellor and book and appointment with her but I didn’t have time to catch her on Monday, and she wasn’t in today and she isn’t in tomorrow either so I wouldn’t have been able to get an appointment anyway. They break up tomorrow so she wont be in again until next term.

I went into school today, had a little chat with Ms B, nothing much just an update I guess, talked a little about the eating but just more about random things, was nice to see her again. I really really wish I had chance to speak to my counsellor though, I feel like there is a lot I need to vent out, I’m just hoping that I can do it through my blog.

The holiday screwed my head up, which really pisses me off, I don’t know what it was that did it, I thought maybe having to much time to think about things, but I didn’t think about anything hardly at all whilst I was out there yet I still felt like total shit. I was getting angry because I was in Morocco but because I felt so crap I couldn’t get into it, I had no enthusiam what so ever and I still can’t be enthusiastic about it now when I talk about it.

I enjoyed the holiday, well I keep telling myself that anyway. The part I enjoyed was going off and doing things, the actual things, like quad biking, and shopping and stuff. But the thing I hated and the thing that totally ruined it was mum, all three of us argued the whole time, if it wasn’t me and mum it was mum winding me and Richard up and playing us off against each other so we argued. It was such hard work, and I reckon that’s why I am so tired.

I am so pissed off that I am feeling low again, I keep trying to remember how I felt when I felt really good after my last exam, but I’ve forgotten already and anything I can remember just doesn’t feel like it was real.

My eating is totally up the friggin creak again. I just cant bring myself to eat, if I can miss a meal time I do. I’m eating odd bits here and there but I’m not hungry and when I am for some reason I just don’t let myself. It’s so confusing, hopefully the whole CBT thing will sort it, not immediately I know but just seeing it clearly or understanding it will help I reckon.

Since I have left school I have been planning to write a letter to the head teacher of my school. I did it this evening and I reckon its pretty good, I’m going to post it on here. I have put his copy in an envelope and I am going to drop it in personally tomorrow, I have also done two copies extra, one for Ms B to see and one for Mr W to see because I mentioned them both in the letter and I want them to see it just in case the head doesn’t show it to them himself.

I have to be at the dentist tomorrow morning for 8.00 =[ Great. I am going to get back and then go into school, drop the letters off and make a complaint about the driver that drives the school bus I used to go on, the one my brother is still on. He drives like a maniac, I always thought it when I was a passenger and on my way down to my dads I met him on the road whilst I was on my bike and it confirmed that he is a bloody idiot. He scared me so much I thought he was going to hit me and the annoying thing is he drives like it all the time. He was driving far to fast for the country roads and he was driving on my side of the road even though he had plenty on his side. I managed to stop completely as he went past me but I ended up having to park my bike part way up the hedge, (a move most bikers know, if the time comes to 'hedge it'. If I hadn't parked it he would have hit me, he passed me going so fast and was only about 2 feet away, if that. My brother was on the bus and saw along with a few other of the school kids so I have some witnesses. My brother bless him was so wound up when I got home, he was so angry at the bus driver!! Oh well I hope he gets whats coming to him!!

I don't know what else to say right now so I guess thats it.

xxx